No regrets…

I got pregnant with my son, Devin, at the age of 16.  I gave birth to him at the age of 17, November 17, 1992.  I was a senior in high school.  At the time I believed that my life was over.  Being a teenager and a senior, I missed out on a lot of the things that my friends were able to do.  I could blame no one but myself. 

Devin was a beautiful baby!  Red hair and blue eyes, just like momma!  He weighed 8 lbs, 3 oz.  That’s a big baby for a 17 year old!

Devin at @ 1 month

Devin @ the age of 1 month.

I was not with his father for the majority of my pregnancy or for a while after he was born.  Dating was a little hard after I had him.  I dated a couple of guys at the age of 19.  Devin was 2 years old by this time.  Oh no!  The terrible twos!  I met a guy whose family just feel in love with him.  Even though our relationship was on and off for almost a year, he never really took an interest in Devin. The second guy I dated, really took the time to get to know Devin.  Devin even called him “daddy” at one point.  He was the only “father” figure he had in his life.  We eventually broke up and once again I was single. 

Me, 19 Devin, 2

Me, 19 Devin, 2

In early 1996, his dad and I started dating again.  Devin was 4 at this time.  We decided to get married and did so in June of that year.  Since he was never around Devin until now, it took Devin awhile to get to know him.  It didn’t help the fact that his dad tried to become a dad overnight.  This led to many arguments on how Devin should be raised.  I was raised by my mother AND father.  He went through a divorce at a young age. 

We moved into a small duplex after about a month of living with my parents.  Devin didn’t originally come with us.  We moved him in @ 6 months later.  The arguing had began again!  The straw that broke the camel’s back was when his dad made him sit in front of the window during a thunderstorm.  Devin was afraid of thunder and lightening and his dad wanted to break him of it.  What a dumb ass way to break a 4 year old of a fear!  I picked Devin up out of the floor and took him to my mom and dad’s.  Within that week, Devin was living with my parents. 

In 1999 we bought a house right down the street from my parents.  Devin did not come to live with us until 2003.  He was very over weight when he left my parents.  They had spoiled him beyond belief!  So once again, his dad and I began to argue over him.  We registered him for baseball which, number 1, got him away from video games and number 2, helped him loose the weight.  Devin shot up like a weed the 2nd year he played.  He was entering puberty.  Lord help me! 

By the end of 2004, his dad and I decided to call it quits.  He got through the holidays and on New Year’s Eve, he moved out.  I was working 3rd shift, so once again, Devin had to stay at my parents.  He was home with me on the weekends though.  The first weekend his dad was supposed to have him, all hell broke loose!  Needless to say, there was a woman over there and his dad had asked him to lie to me and say that there was nobody there, if I asked.  I heard a baby crying in the background!  Of course I am going to ask who was there!  No more weekend visits at his dad’s after that.  That was Devin’s choice, even though I got blamed for it.

Over the last 3 years, Devin and I became really close.  He is 16 1/2 right now.  We like the same music and movies.  We go to concerts and the movies together all the time.  He is very open with me about everything he does.  I never had that with my parents.  All of his friends think I am just the “coolest” mom.  My VW Rabbit has become a taxi!  Hopefully Devin will be getting his license at the end of December.

me and devin 2009

Devin and I, 2009

The purpose of this blog is to let everyone know that I DO NOT regret having my son at an early age.  He made me grow up and become more responsible.  He did ME a favor.  I love my son with all of my heart and he is the only male that will ever truly have my heart!

**********

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Published in: on May 21, 2009 at 12:57 pm  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Thank you for putting this out there for all of us to ponder. I commend you for keeping it together and raising a great kid. I am class of 92 also, and I’m sure I couldn’t have raised a cat at that time!

    • If it weren’t for my parents, I would have never made it!

      I am very lucky to have a son like him. He is not afraid to be himself (just look at his beard!) and he is very smart.

  2. This is really uplifting, and I congratulate you! And, refreshing as well, you see, my daughter at 14 got pregnant, and at first she felt the same. But with all the family support on my side of the family, she is doing much better. She had to drop out of high school because the ridicule got so bad, which I don’t understand, it’s not like she’s the first one here to have a child early. I know alot of it comes from the father. They stopped seeing each other a year ago, and since then he has been spreading rumors, making her life so difficult. She is currently taking classes to get her GED, and has already passed her first one. I’m very proud of her. In so many ways she has grown past the friends she has. I now have guardianship of the little guy, which took a lil of the load off. She still cares for him everyday, but it’s a precaution. Now the father can’t pull any crap and get away with it. She is hoping to take phlebotomy classes when she does get her GED.

    I hope the best for you and your son, and much happiness. You’ve done well and should be very proud of yourself.

  3. Thanks for the kind words! Sounds like things are going well for you and your daughter. Hope things stay that way!

  4. Sometimes tha path isn’t easy, but you get to where you need to be. You reaped the rewards of hanging thru “bad” times. Kudos to you.


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