Normal on the outside

As a child, I remember going to the grocery store with my mom.  When she would go to the meat section, I was fascinated with certain packaged meat products.  I would stand there and stare at the cow livers and tongues.  I would even poke at the meat just to feel the texture.  The liver was smooth, while the tongue had a rougher texture.  I have no idea why I needed to touch them or why I was never “grossed out” by it.


My mother often bought whole fryer chickens, the ones you basically had to “gut” before you cooked them.  I was very curious about this process.  My mom took notice of my curiosity and asked if I wanted to help.  I remember receiving some sort of pleasure skinning the chicken and handling the “innards”.  That became my duty in the kitchen whenever chicken was cooked!


As far as my interest in horror movies goes, that started at a young age also.  I remember watching “The Birds” and “Psycho” with my dad around the age of 7, in the early 80’s.  I loved those movies and wanted to live in Norman Bates’ house!  Even in black and white those movies were awesome.  I know now that chocolate syrup was used in the shower scene in “Psycho”!


I also remember a movie that came on around Halloween.  It was called “Dark Night of the Scarecrow”.  It came out in 1981.  I watched that movie every Halloween until they stopped airing it. 


I guess the first “popular” horror movie that I watched was “Friday the 13th”.  I was scared to death of Jason when I first saw that movie.  The same with Michael Myers when first seeing “Halloween”.  Something about a man in a mask!  Freddy, on the other hand, was not scary to me at all.  He was hilarious!


In 1987, the movie that made me fall in love with vampires, came out.  I spent a Friday night with my junior high best friend and we watched “The Lost Boys”.  We watched it again the next day, 3 more times!  I grew up with a southern baptist momma who didn’t even allow me to watch The Smurfs, much less horror movies!  Boy, if she only knew what I got away with!


Back to my sick fascinations!  In high school I took advanced biology.  It came time for our dissection project.  We were going to be dissecting a cat.  I was, and still am, a cat lover, but for some reason it did not bother me to be cutting away at this cat.  Maybe it was because the object laid before us no longer really looked like a cat or maybe it was because I am just that sick.  Who knows.  My partner and I completed the assigned list of items we were to dissect.  After that, the teacher allowed us to “explore” our cat.  Without going into great detail, to spare my fellow cat lovers, I removed the brain.  I also kept, said brain, in a baby food jar and stored it in my locker for the remainder of the school year.  Why?  I don’t know.

I will also spare my fellow cat lovers by not posting a picture of a cat dissection!

Serial killers are another fascination of mine, but I will save that for a different blog. But just to let you know:  yes, I had small animals as a child and NO, I did not mutilate them!  lol

My love for horror movies is stronger than ever.  The more gore and sick and twisted content, the better.  How can someone look so normal on the outside but be so sick and twisted on the inside?  I guess those are the ones you have to look out for!


Published in: on May 26, 2009 at 12:47 pm  Comments (6)  
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No regrets…

I got pregnant with my son, Devin, at the age of 16.  I gave birth to him at the age of 17, November 17, 1992.  I was a senior in high school.  At the time I believed that my life was over.  Being a teenager and a senior, I missed out on a lot of the things that my friends were able to do.  I could blame no one but myself. 

Devin was a beautiful baby!  Red hair and blue eyes, just like momma!  He weighed 8 lbs, 3 oz.  That’s a big baby for a 17 year old!

Devin at @ 1 month

Devin @ the age of 1 month.

I was not with his father for the majority of my pregnancy or for a while after he was born.  Dating was a little hard after I had him.  I dated a couple of guys at the age of 19.  Devin was 2 years old by this time.  Oh no!  The terrible twos!  I met a guy whose family just feel in love with him.  Even though our relationship was on and off for almost a year, he never really took an interest in Devin. The second guy I dated, really took the time to get to know Devin.  Devin even called him “daddy” at one point.  He was the only “father” figure he had in his life.  We eventually broke up and once again I was single. 

Me, 19 Devin, 2

Me, 19 Devin, 2

In early 1996, his dad and I started dating again.  Devin was 4 at this time.  We decided to get married and did so in June of that year.  Since he was never around Devin until now, it took Devin awhile to get to know him.  It didn’t help the fact that his dad tried to become a dad overnight.  This led to many arguments on how Devin should be raised.  I was raised by my mother AND father.  He went through a divorce at a young age. 

We moved into a small duplex after about a month of living with my parents.  Devin didn’t originally come with us.  We moved him in @ 6 months later.  The arguing had began again!  The straw that broke the camel’s back was when his dad made him sit in front of the window during a thunderstorm.  Devin was afraid of thunder and lightening and his dad wanted to break him of it.  What a dumb ass way to break a 4 year old of a fear!  I picked Devin up out of the floor and took him to my mom and dad’s.  Within that week, Devin was living with my parents. 

In 1999 we bought a house right down the street from my parents.  Devin did not come to live with us until 2003.  He was very over weight when he left my parents.  They had spoiled him beyond belief!  So once again, his dad and I began to argue over him.  We registered him for baseball which, number 1, got him away from video games and number 2, helped him loose the weight.  Devin shot up like a weed the 2nd year he played.  He was entering puberty.  Lord help me! 

By the end of 2004, his dad and I decided to call it quits.  He got through the holidays and on New Year’s Eve, he moved out.  I was working 3rd shift, so once again, Devin had to stay at my parents.  He was home with me on the weekends though.  The first weekend his dad was supposed to have him, all hell broke loose!  Needless to say, there was a woman over there and his dad had asked him to lie to me and say that there was nobody there, if I asked.  I heard a baby crying in the background!  Of course I am going to ask who was there!  No more weekend visits at his dad’s after that.  That was Devin’s choice, even though I got blamed for it.

Over the last 3 years, Devin and I became really close.  He is 16 1/2 right now.  We like the same music and movies.  We go to concerts and the movies together all the time.  He is very open with me about everything he does.  I never had that with my parents.  All of his friends think I am just the “coolest” mom.  My VW Rabbit has become a taxi!  Hopefully Devin will be getting his license at the end of December.

me and devin 2009

Devin and I, 2009

The purpose of this blog is to let everyone know that I DO NOT regret having my son at an early age.  He made me grow up and become more responsible.  He did ME a favor.  I love my son with all of my heart and he is the only male that will ever truly have my heart!


Published in: on May 21, 2009 at 12:57 pm  Comments (5)  
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Smoking ban in North Carolina

NC’s Gov., Beverly Perdue, will be signing a bill banning smoking in ALL restaurants and bars.  Restaurants I might can understand, but BARS??? 

Smokin’ and drinkin’ go together like peanut butter and jelly!  I am a smoker and I can’t imagine going to a bar and not being able to smoke!  Personally, that is how I pace myself while drinking.  I’m pretty sure others do the same thing.  I predict more drunk drivers on the roads now.

North Carolina farmers produced $686 MILLION worth of tobacco last year.  That is nearly half of what ALL of the US produces. 

Wisconsin legislators also voted Wednesday night to ban smoking in all workplaces, including bars and restaurants.  At least NC hasn’t banned smoking at the workplace…yet. 

“By the end of this year, more than 30 states and the District of Columbia are expected to have laws banning smoke from workplaces, restaurants, bars, or some combination.” (

Published in: on May 20, 2009 at 12:28 pm  Comments (3)  
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